...and you know some of the people, old friends of yours who either invited you or at least recommended it with vague indifference. You chat mostly with them, but occasionally, on your way to get another beer or try the dip, some of the other partygoers you don't know come up and strike up a conversation. "Hi," says one. "I'm Amber."

"Uh, hi." You're too old to be fooled by a dubious name like "Amber."

"Wanna be my friend?" she says. "I'll show you my tits." And starts to pull up her shirt.

"No. No, really. That's okay."

That's what checking my MySpace messages has been like since I joined it two days ago.

Sorry to keep bringing up the subject. I'm just venting. I'm really glad there are alternative social networking services like LJ and ComicSpace.

Do any of my Jewish friends in Portland know of a good place to get matzo farfel?

Jenn is making kugel for seder tomorrow at our ashkenazic friend Barry's home. But she can't do it without farfel.

Word around the shtetl has it that the Albertson's on Beaverton-Hillsdale Highway has a good kosher section. But that's over the river and through the woods — literally! Anyplace on the east side? I have checked the kosher sections of both Fred Meyer's and Safeway; to be expected, they are stocked with Manischewitz, which is fine and dandy, but no matzo farfel.

Then again, I'm a dumbass goyim, so I could have been looking at a perfectly good can of matzo meal and passed it up. The InterWeb is offering confusing bits of information on this score. Jenn insists she needs the egg noodle type.

For those who do not know from Barry, he is an excellent political cartoonist and all-around comics guy. He's a little early on the seder celebration because he has relatives to visit in Florida, in case the calendar-conscious are wondering.